Remember The Name
by M i s s y U t o p i a
Summary: Jean and Andrew. They were born to become guardians: their fate was to create peace between mutants and humans, to keep the balance between supernatural and natural things. However, sometimes destruction comes with loss, and it causes revengeful desires... Jogan & Ororo/OC, slight Cherik. Rated T, but will change soon. R&R, please!
1. Where she dies, he rises

**The March of 2006.**

"Why don't you come back, sweetheart?" A woman, who's was covered only by a silk blanket, asked in a hushed tone as she slowly approached the man who was leaning againts the doorframe and stared through the window, completely not paying attention to her. Wrapping her arms around him from behind, she kissed a spot on his muscular back and buried her face into his soft skin. She knew he loved when she was that near to him: it always calmed him, even when he had hard times controlling the beast within him. "It's getting cold here to wear boxers only. Come back before you catch a bad cold, okay?"

Andrew heaved a deep sigh as he turned around to see how his girlfriend pulled a few strands out of her face and placed them behind her ear. As she did so he had to notice how beautiful she looked without any make up on and was amazed how an angel like her could choose such a person like him. A smirk appeared across his face, couldn't believe how lucky he had been. "Already missed me?"

She nodded, her blush burned her cheeks. "Yeah. Besides, I was waiting for you to continue our romantic night. Or you don't want it anymore?"

"'Course I do, darling. Just needed some fresh air," he assured her immediately. "Oh, so you missed me? Good to hear. How much?"

"Pretty much," she rolled her eyes and waved off. "But don't worry, dearest. I got used to it. "

Her opposite frowned, unaware of what she was hinting at. "Do you?"

"You make me wait almost all the time," the brunette explained matter-of-factly, couldn't hide her grin anymore. "I've always known you have weird girly habits."

"Girly habits?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. "All the time?"

"I said _almost _all the time," she protested quickly, shaking her head. She put her right hand on his chest while the other one rested on the back of his neck, ready to pull him into a soothing kiss. "Just to inform you, in case you haven't noticed yet, you are wasting too much time doing these things."

"Which things? " Andrew asked. "For example?"

"Thinking of things you will never tell me, " she listed, playfully pulling a face. "Drinking this old Scottish whiskey that Kevin gave you, don't even pay attention when I'm talking to you. Oh, don't forget that look!"

"Which look?" He received a well-known look in response. "Please, enlighten me."

"Sometimes you're far away… You're with me, talking to me, kissing me, but at the same time, you aren't. It makes me feel unnecessary, fool and..."

"You aren't," he cut her off. "Yes, maybe I have hard times. It's not your fault, love and I'm truly sorry you thought that and for destroying our night."

The woman sighed. "Damn, you have your way with words…"

"Maybe," Andrew admitted, trying to skip the subject by picking the brunette up and bitting into her neck teasingly. Although she squealed in joy, couldn't be fooled. Melissa became serious when their gaze met, causing the man to have the urge to look away. "What's wrong, sweetness?" He forced her to look at him by raising her chin. "Is there anything that bothers you or it's only… me?"

Swallowing hard, she cupped his cheeks softly, stroking over the right one. "Nothing you should be worried of," she murmured barely audible, hoping that no one will catch them in such a position. "I just want you to know that you aren't alone anymore, Andrew."

"I know."

"No," he heard her saying and felt his remorse running through his body. "You're still musing on the fact that you are capable of doing very dangerous things and your powers are sometimes uncontrollable. We can hurt people, too. Most of us already did, so you should accept that you aren't the only one who has red in his ledger…"

"I need you to tell me how it happened," noticing his slightly confused look, she went on. " I don't understand what's bothering you so much, but I would like to."

"You already know."

"I doubt that only the trauma you went through is your problem, Andrew. You are clearly hurt, I've to know the reasons why to be able to help you. I would never be mad at you because of your past, just please… be honest to me, okay?"

"Melissa…"

"I don't accept no!" Melissa warned him as he put her slowly down, pointing at his chest. "We go back into our bedroom and you will tell me everything."

"You'd look at me differently," he inhaled her scent when she leaned forward to kiss him tenderly.

"Never. I love you."

She took his hand and kissed the back of it. Leading him towards their bedroom and waited until she sat down beside him on the bed. "So?"

"It started years ago, " he began, his emerald green eyes met her blue ones. She smiled at him sympathetically. "The Weapon X brought me from Annandale-on-Hudson to their basis near Alkali Lake… I never told you how they found me nor what happened to my family…"

* * *

**The December of 1995.**

_"X-105," a man knocked on his door roughly, causing him to startle and have the urge to hide under something in fear. However, he had nothing but a pair of dirty jeans and a blanket that covered his body, plus an another one to prevent him from froze to death when it was winter, while rats were kept on chewing his toes. It scared him to death back then, but he had to learn how to kill them afterwards. He hated it – he really did, but the will to live was had been much stronger._

_No one ever told him – why should they? – but everyone were afraid of him. He had something deep within, he himself didn't know, but they did. It sounded rather funny that they knew him better than he did. He knew he had an another personality. Every time he was afraid or sad – and down there he couldn't feel anything else – the monster within him sensed it and tried to take over the control. He wanted to destroy and somehow – it was the weirdest fact since he was the humanest mutant ever – Andrew agreed with him. He was sure he won't live there for the rest of his life and will use every possible chance to get them – he wasn't the only one – out of the Hell on Earth, but the right time didn't came yet. So they still had to wait._

_For a long time he only got something to eat and drink only two times a week, but somewhat it changed during the years. He hadn't had the slightest idea what Stryker exactly wanted from him. The Weapon X must have realized that they weren't allowed to steal the younger man's power as long as he got no change to manage to break through the mental block his another personality – which Stryker created accidently while he tried to give his oh-so-perfect Deadpool the mutation Andrew had – built long time ago. Being aware of the fact that he was the only one who could do that – no one else, nothing else –, Andrew refused to open his mind to them. Never, he thought._

_At first, they began to be more crueler to him: they didn't give him anything to eat for two long weeks. After a few months not only he but also they could see his disadvantage of the war between them. Andrew, since the chains held him back from getting up or using his legs he couldn't test it, but was sure that he wouldn't have been able to walk at all. Even though he was getting weaker and weaker day by day, he didn't change his opinion and was sure as hell he never will. On the other hand, despite of the fact that the process was successful they decided to make a better plan. Then came something new – which was quite a surprise to him –, they sent Stryker to talk to him. After he told him straight ahead that he will never let him know anything about his mutation – those little but important things no one had known back then –, the younger man thought that William finally gave up._

_At the same time, he never really believed it. Stryker was as stubborn as a brick wall and an absolutely maximalist man. (That asshole would never have let anyone win but himself!)_

_Maybe, his mind screamed with disgust, he thinks I will give him the key to my power myself if I see he's nice to me. "X-105!"_

_(X-105 was the name he was refered to.) He let out a loud sigh and ran his fingers through his messy hair – the last time he showered was… God, let's don't bring up this subject!_

_Speaking of Stryker again… When he had the mood to play the nice man, he'd sent his brainwashed slaves down – the basis were underground – to bring him food and water. 'Thanks' to him, he could state which time of the day was it and that someone must have brought him dinner._

_He cleared his throat, waiting for the person to approach._

_The iron door opened with a loud noise, but he didn't even look up to see who came this time: he already knew if it was Monday then it was a brunette female mutant with bright blue eyes. Her name was unknown but he, being a man, couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Too bad that he had to watch her suffer in the pain of being controlled. "Dinner time" she said in a monotone voice and dropped the plate in front of him, receiving brief a nod. 'Dry bread and water. Yummy!'_

_"Thank you," he whispered barely audible, smiling at her slightly. Blinking slowly, the woman bit her lower lip. Grabbing the rusty latch, she wanted to left just to be stopped by him. His hand touched hers. He stroked over her palm gently but this one immediately pulled it away and took a few steps back where he was not able to reach her anymore. As if his touch burned her, she pressed it hard against her chest. "You could be a fighter. Why don't you fight back?"_

_"I have no choice," she replied._

_Andrew shook his head, his emerald green pools searched her blue ones in the darkness. "Why?"_

_"I-I don't... Shut your mouth and eat that shit," swallowed and gave him a clear look before he heard a loud BAMM! and the woman disappeared, leaving him there, speechless._

_He only frowned and pulled the tray closer into his lap and took a small bite, lost in thoughts._

_Andrew had many dreams – ones a simple man could get every day, but since the Weapon X found him, he could only hope they will come true one day. For example, he wanted to feel the sunlight stroking his skin again, to bring him enough power of will to get his life back. He didn't even remember how the sky and the stars looked like, or the way how the rain poured when he and his younger sister played in front of the fireplace while their mother baked them cookies. The scent of his mother's hot strawberry pie…_

_His heart clenched painfully._

_He even missed her although she never fought against the father of her children to protect them nor had she said no when he forced his own son to go with Stryker by threatening him. (John was an alcoholist, beaten them up every single day they did something he didn't like or simple because he was bored. To him, it didn't mean such thing that he sold his own son.) Andrew wasn't surpired when he gave him an ultimatum: either he did as he had been told or he will tell William everything about his sister's mutation._

"What's your mother's name?" Melissa asked and stroked through his hair.

"Elaine."

"And your sisters? Only the younger one doesn't have any mutation?"

"Only J' has mutation as far as I know. Sara doesn't. "

"J'?"

"She didn't like called by her full first name, that's why I always gave her nicknames…"

_The boy was aware of what kind of man Stryker was and he loved his siblings more than his own life: he could never give him the slightest chance do to the same with her. Still, the thought of never seeing his sisters or mother again began to destroy him, attacked his very soul and made him vulnerable. The saddest thing had been the fact that he noticed – even if once he swore to himself he won't –, he did change. This realization hit him hard: the truth couldn't be denied anymore. He'd have been the happiest man if he could have take revenge on their father for taking his childhood and future – including his sisters – away from him. Somewhere, deep within him, he secretly hoped in seeing his father bleeding out – alone and full of fears. That'd be the happiest day of his life._

_…He let him change his way of thinking and he found it incredibly disgusting. Maybe one day he'll become a man like his fater was._

_He looked at his bread and the water tasted bitterly in his mouth._

* * *

**The May of 1997 – Alkali Lake.**

_"X-105!" A deep voice he had never heard before made his eyebrow shot up and his eyes narrowed into two little slits. He didn't understand what they wanted from him again – since he already got dinner once –, but was even more surprised when the door opened and a few soldiers stepped into the room, holding a unconscious man from three sides: one from behind and the two from the sides of him, ready to interrupt in case if it was necessary. I think he's a dangerous mutation. The man had handcuffs wrapped around his wrists, his brown hair had been unruly – just like his – and he seemed to be really pale. His new 'cell-partner' barely looked older than Andrew and he wondered what happened to him, what was the story behind him. Maybe Stryker wants him to attack me and test his powers? Or me to freak out and show him mine? Is that he's trying to reach? The moment I will give up and let him manipulate me?_

_"Behave!" One of the soldiers warned him, making him frown. Why should he behave? What were they up to anyway?_

_He gave his new 'roommate', who began to wake up, blinking heavily againts the sudden darkness, a cautious look. He immeaditely startled when he realized – or better say quessed – where he was and stared at Andrew._

_"I won't hurt you," he said calmly, voice wasn't more than a whisper, heaving a deep breath. God, how much he wanted to take a hot shower at that moment! "I'm not your enemy, okay?"_

_"Hou?" a Scottish accent echoed through the little – could he call it room or the cell should have been the greatest reference? – place and Andrew pushed his tray towards him to let him eat from his bread if he was hungry. "Whaur am A?"_

_"I think it's somewhere at Alkali Lake. At least that's what they say," The man replied, shrugging before he cocked a brow at his opposite. This one began to curse loudly – Andrew heard many Scottish curses he didn't even understand – and Andrew had no idea what to do to make him shut up. "Okay, okay! I understand! You are upset, but can you shut up?! They will come and…"_

_The stranger snorted and went on growling._

_He could say he was thinking of giving him a hard punch to shut him up._

"Was he really that bad?"

"You have no idea…"

_"Hou dare thay?!" He suddenly shouted and worked on his handcuffs by kept on hitting the wall. He refused to accept that he failed miserably. "A'm Proteus, ye idiots! A will kill awone if A get ma hands on'em!"_

_Andrew sighed. "Wanna see you tryin'. Would be quite a show."_

_He snarled in response. "A'm a god, ye pat'etic…"_

_"Oh, cut that shit already!" He tried to be louder than him to make him shut up. It worked, to his greatest pleasure._

_"Have your mother ever taught you how to close that fuckin' mouth of yours?! They won't let you out, get over it, please!"_

_Hours passed, no one said anything. They didn't have to – both of them were enough annoyed to ignore the one another._

_"What's your name?" Andrew asked, breaking the uncomfortable nothingless. He wanted to put him somewhere, since he was only a stranger to him back then: a self-fanatic, arrogant and – it was the worst to his sensitive ears – a loud one. He didn't like him at all - the guy thought he was a god! "I mean your real one," he added with a roll of his eyes._

_"Kevin," he mumbled turning towards Andrew's direction again, didn't understand why his damn human name was so important to him. He was the almighty Proteus who had known no fear, used people when and every time he had the mood."Kevin Mactaggert. Yers?"_

_He nodded. "Call me Andrew."_

* * *

**The October of 1999.**

_"'Ave ye ever…"_

_"Thought of escaping?"_

_Kevin nodded._

_"I still do," Andrew nodded and his long brown lock had fallen into his face. Pushing them away, he smirked slightly. They had been roommates for almost five years and he already waited for the Question – with capital Q. "Have you ever thought about changing your opinion? Still want to be the baddest god?"_

_"After yer grammar lessons and t'e Monday-afternoon-breads?" the other man laughed. "Wut should A say?"_

_"The question of your life," he rolled his emerald green eyes. "I'm being serious here, by the way."_

_"A ken, 'Drew," came the reply in a husky voice. "A wanna get out of here at first. "_

_"Me too."_

_"Let"s make a plan," he mumbled, cocking an eyebrow at Kevin. "Can A count on ye then?"_

_"Better question. Can I count on you?"_

_Kevin stayed in silence._

* * *

**The September of 2003.**

_"How come everything's okay with your body?" a voice snapped him out of daydream, making him shiver. Kevin sighed and turned towards Andrew. "You told me the bodies you use are soon become useless. "_

_"A daenna hau they found ma body, but I think… yer mutation's t'e reason."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"A daenna remember much, only that thay talked 'bout ye when thay brought me here," seeing his roommate's surprised gaze, he went on. "Ye didn't lie when ye said thay know too much 'bout it. Yer powers ar' strong, way stronger than thay expected. It's dark and thay 're afraid of ye."_

_"It doesn't make sense."_

_"Lemme finish it," he waved off. "So ye can control mah mutation without even realize it. Yer in an upper level A'll never understand. That's why A 'ave respect towards ye."_

_"Big step from a guy who thought he is a god."_

_Kevin grinned. "A ken, man."_

_He didn't answer. After a while, he cleared his throat and his head jerked up. "Don't you think it's weird?"_

_"Whut?"_

_"They put you into a cell with me," his green eyes met Kevin's dark brown ones while he spoke. "They know what I'm capable of. When I was a child yet… I couldn't handle my another personality as much as I do now. I don't remember my outbursts. It's like seeing a movie in black and white, but… they do. Maybe they want me to kill you while I accidently block your powers, or..."_

_"Dae ye think thay want us to escape?"_

_"Or want a reason to get us killed," he whispered. "Maybe they think I will kill you because you are annoying."_

_"Or the opposite, " Kevin added and received a nod. "My father must 'ave told 'em 'bout mah.. attitude to… "_

_"To anyone who dares to hurt your ego."_

_"Exactly."_

_"That's why we have to be quick. We can't lose this time or everything we planned fails."_

_"Ain't gonna let ye down," Proteus said. "A 'ave never worked in a team… A never wanted t'help anyone, A was the bad. Wanna change it after this experience."_

_"Do you really think we are friends, Kevin? Or that I believe this shit you are saying? 'Cause I don't. Let's face it, see it clearly… During the years you haven't earned my friendship nor anything that would be positive." Andrew sighed. "I doubt you'll have my back if they give you the chance to survive. I don't – or better say – can't trust you and I'm deeply sorry, but I said the truth."_

_"Am A look this coward?" his opposite asked and grabbed the last piece of his bread, throwing it towards his roommate. "Name's Proteus an' not for nothing. Lemme prove ye that ye can trust ma. Deal or dae ye really wanna 'ave this war between us?"_

_He took a bite. Still chewing on it, he lost in thoughts._

_"Wanna get an answer."_

_"What if you don't have the right question?" Andrew challenged him. "Want me to trust you? Trust yourself!"_

_He only received a brief look before it started. At first, they heard a noise which caught them off guard. It came from an upper level – something exploded with a loud BANG. Being completely unaware of what was happening upstairs, but seeing it as a chance, they tried to get rid off their chains. Getting desperate and frustrated at the same time, Andrew grabbed the one that was wrapped around his right leg and tried to use his mutation. 'Do it, damn it'_

_Being surprised how soon the cold water began to fill the room, Kevin didn't notice that Andrew grabbed his arms hard and created a psychic shell which shielded them againts it. The last thing he had seen before he fainted was him, glowing in black colour._

* * *

_He opened his eyes and began to gasp for air, desperately trying to fill his lungs with it. Since Stryker brought him to the basis Andrew had never felt his astma choking him, until that moment. He touched his throat, being scared more than ever. He didn't want to die, not when he was finally free and was able to start a new life – even though he wasn't sure if the Weapon X will looking for them. He startled as he felt an unfamiliar touch on his chest and grabbed a hand. It was a female one. A female one?_

_"Look at me!" The brunette demanded barely audible, her deep blue pools never left his ones. He had found something special in them – they were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Even her hair was wet and must have came out of the water, she was gorgeous. "Okay… Okay… Focus on me, don't close your eyes!"_

_Realizing that she was talking to him and getting what she wanted him to do, the man slowly imitated the way she was breathing._

_"Nice! Go on," she said and helped him to sat up, taking his other hand – which laid on his throat – and squeezed it lightly. "Don't even dare to stop it! Come on!"_

_Waiting until his chest began to rose and fall in a normal rhythm, the woman pulled away._

_"Thanks," Andrew croaked and she raised an eyebrow, was clearly surprised._

_"What?" She mumbled, bitting her lower lip hard. "It's me who should thank you…"_

_"Why?"_

_The brunette rubbed the back of her neck while giving him a weird look from aside. As their gazes met, his stomach made a somersault. "You and a man named Proteus helped me get out of there…"_

_"I don't remember anything," she heard him saying. "What happened?"_

_"I have no idea," the woman shrugged. "A mutant team destryoed the basis. They attacked Stryker and his men. I think they killed them."_

_Andrew couldn't help but stare at her. "Killed Stryker?"_

_He received a nod. "Yes, they did."_

_"T'e water destroyed awethin'," a Scottish accent suddenly could be heard and Andrew exchanged a look with the woman in front of him. "Ye saved ma an' this woman's life t'en we got out of 'ere jus' in time."_

_"I must have hit my head because…" Before Andrew could finish his sentense the other man cut him off. "I don't remember anything but the water."_

_"No," Kevin replied, shaking his head. "Ye? Hittin' yer head? A doubt it."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Ye have an another personality, right?"_

_"Yes," he replied and by the help of Kevin he managed to stand up. "But I never let him take over the control…"_

_"'Drew, ye and A lived together for years," Proteus began. "An' A 'ave never seen ye behave like this or using yer power the way ye did yesterday. It can't be anything else, ye should admit it."_

_Andrew cleared his throat and looked at his hands. "I don't even know what kind of power I have."_

_"You are blocking mine," the woman, who stayed in silence during the men's conversation, suddenly said._

_"Whou're ye?"_

_"Melissa," she replied, still kneeling in front of them. She had her leg injured so she couldn't get up. "Melissa Collins."_

_"What kind of power do you have?" Andrew asked. "Because I don't think I'm doing anything right now."_

_"I can create light," seeing the even more confused stares she went on. "I wanted to use it before, to heal my leg. I think it's broken."_

_Kevin's eyebrow shot up. "Eh?"_

_"My light can heal wounds or help people if they are sick," the brunette explained. "It makes me very exhausted every time I use it. But it doesn't matter now, since as I said, he's blocking it. "_

_"Do I?"_

_"Yes, you do." Melissa leant against a rock, heaving a deep sigh. "I don't remember hearing anything about you or the other… you back then. They either blocked or erased my memories of mutants… It's not surprising, since Stryker controlled me for years."_

_Emerald eyes looked at her questioningly. "How were they able to erase your memory?"_

_"Stryker had his ways, Andrew," she sighed. "You know it perfectly well. More than me, actually."_

_"They never tried to erase my ones," he said, then quickly added. "As far as I know."_

_"You have an another personality," Melissa whispered. " They must have been very careful… Maybe they were afraid you will destroy the basis in case if they do it.."_

_"Whou? It's clear enough that he doesn't know what kind of power he owns," Kevin threw his dirty shirt away and pointed at Andrew. "It makes nae sense."_

"Why is this part important? I was there, too."

"You'll see…"

_"It does." Melissa blinked heavily. "You could see what happened. What if…"_

_"If?"_

_"If that part of him sensed that he was in danger and take over the control to protect him."_

_"Never happened before," Andrew turned his head towards the water, watching it. As if someone hit him hard, his heart had begun to beat faster. He could hear someone whispering, asking for help. Was he hallucinating? "I've never lost control before."_

Andrew touched his forehead and stopped. Melissa had problems with understanding what he meant and it took her for a while, but then… "Voice? Who's voice?"

_"Look, if you wouldn't have lost your control back then," the woman murmured. "We wouldn't have survived. You helped us."_

_The man knelt down in front of Melissa and – although she kept on saying 'no, I can do it alone' – took her into his arms. Giving in, the brunette wrapped her arms around Andrew's neck and sighed._

_Still, he couldn't forget the voice he heard before…_

_"Whour the hell 're we anyway?" Kevin demanded to know in confusion, one of his hands ont he back of his neck._

_"Alkali Lake, you've already been told before."_

_"And where to go?" Melissa managed to ask the main subject they were thinking about. "You guys have no idea, right?"_

_"No, not really," Andrew said, giving Proteus a look from aside. "Kevin? Will you come with us?"_

_"A thought ye daenna want me t'join ye," he ran his fingers through his hair._

_"Shit happens, plans change," he smiled at him slightly._

_"So… Alkali Lake?" Kevin asked, receiving a nod from Melissa this time. "My father has a house near 'ere, but he never uses it. A think we can stay there for a while."_

_"Do you think it's safe?"_

_Andrew narrowed his eyes. "If it's not, then we will… protect each other."_

_"Soun's like a plan."_

_With Melissa in his arms, he gave the lake one last look. He could bet on the fact that he had seen something glowing in it and it had a form – as if they were wings of a bird. Narrowing his eyes, he was about to tell Kevin to take Melissa with him and he gives that thing – or person? – a closer look, but as he noticed that Kevin approached the forest and was waving at them to follow him, he sighed and went after him._

"That voice were familiar," he began, his voice was shaking. "I refused to think about it for years... I kept on telling myself that I only hit my head. But Melissa... Even _he _tells me it was her!"

"Who?"

"I-I think I heard her."

"Heard who?"

"My sister," he whispered barely audible. "Jean."


	2. The Otherworld

**Author's note: Hey guys! Thank you for the reviews - I was really glad to read them! It's good to know that you are reading this fanfiction which is my first one in English.:)**

**I'd be glad if you'd leave me reviews this time, too because I worked so much on this chapter!**

**Do you want to see how I imagined my OC character's and the ones from the comics (For example: Kevin Mactaggert)?**

** Xx, Missy Utopia.**

Hot sunbeams had fallen through the rainny clouds, reaching her body and caressing the pale skin playfully. Although the ground underneath her radiated coldness, she felt pretty comfortable there. Watching the sky while she lost in thoughts, Jean Grey frowned, gripping the glass hard. Her mind was getting clearer and clearer as the time passed and she had to realize that the place she had been couldn't be the Earth. Then where she was?

What happened?

Touching her belly, she closed her eyes for a long moment, just to open it after her memories overwhelmed her. She died: Logan killed her, since it was the only way to save the others from Phoenix' uncontrollable powers. _So,_ she thought, _it's supposed to be the Otherworld. But how?_ It looked so much like a place somewhere in…

New York?

Jean looked around before she stood up. What the was she doing there?

"I bet you didn't expect this," a woman's warm voice echoed from behind her and Jean shivered in the inexplicable happiness. "To be honest, I didn't expect you to come this early neither." As she came more closer the sun slowly lightened her angelic face, causing the redhead's heart to skip a beat in shock. "Good morning, sweetheart."

At that moment she didn't that she was crying, until she pulled a few strands out of her face behind her ear and wiped some teardrop away with her fingers. The redhead bit her lower lip when she took a step towards her mother and reached out to touch her, but this one only gave her a sad smile and shook her head. Furrowing her bows, she couldn't help but stare at Elaine, agape as the distance between them became even wider.

"I'm sorry, but it won't work this way. We aren't allowed to contact, Jean, just to talk." Although Elaine still seemed to be too far, her daughter heard every words of her cristal clearly, feeling the warmth her mother bought into her soul, as if she was still in her real body and alive, breaking through the ice block her death created in her.

How could she feel if she died?

"Mom I…" Remembering what happened when they last met too well, Jean put her right hand onto her mouth to hold back a sob, while the another one was still trying to reach Mrs. Grey. It took a few minutes, until the redhead supressed it and could talk again. Being ready to ask her to forgive her, she opened her mouth. "I-I'm so so-"

Elaine interrupted her by shaking her head barely noticable, demanded her to listen without saying a word.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she whispered softly. Her mother held her gaze which made Jean frown. How could she smile at her as if nothing had happen? "You are not responsible the things _she_ had done."

"I was too weak to fight againts her," Jean whimpered, broke the eye-contact by looking at the ground sadly. "I killed you…"

"_She_ did it."

"I could have…"

"Sweetheart," Elaine raised her hand quickly and smiled at her soothingly. "Stop blaming yourself!" "

"No. You should stop looking excuses for me!" Knowing that her mother only wanted to save her from her own conscience, which told her to stay away from her, the telepath felt even more guilty. "I even killed Scott and the Professor."

"I can only repeat myself," the brunette woman rolled her eyes. "_She_ did it."

Mrs. Grey protested in a gentle tone. "Besides… we aren't here to talk about it."

Jean snorted darkly. "Does it really matter?"

"Of course it does!" Her mother shut her eyes, letting the soft wind to play with her dark hair. She seemed to be very focusing on something and when Jean realized that everything had changed around her, she gasped for air. It was familiar, but she couldn't tell why. Turning towards her mother's direction, her eyebrow shot up. "Where are we?"

"Have you got any idea?"

The younger woman sighed. "No."

"Seriously?" The brunette asked and her opposite shook her head.

"Annandale-on-Hudson." Elaine had to smile when her oldest daughter could only stare in suprise. Hearing familiar voice from somewhere, they exchanged a look and Jean immediately became pale. "Exactly."

"Jeez…" She mouthed as a brown haired, smirking boy suddenly ran through her ghost-like body, followed by a little redhead, who looked rather pissed. Trying to find out which memory of hers it was, she couldn't help but feel terrible. She had pretty much good and bad ones, especially with her brother, who died in asthma, when Jean was ten years old. Since she was already a student of Charles Xavier's school, her parents could only call to inform her about her brother's funeral. "Andrew… Andrew!"

Tears welled in Jean's eyes.

"Yes," she heard her mother whispering."These memories will be the key to the explanation. Watch them and you will get to know what happenen."

Filling her lungs with fresh air, Mrs. Grey's eyes darkened and Jean could see the desperation within them. "I can't tell you. You have to find out by yourself, sweety."

"What are you talking about, mom?" The redhead mutant questioned, didn't understand anything, no matter how she tried. "Where are you going?"

"You stay here. It will show you the truth. Don't worry, my dear. In the end, you will know what to do." Raising her hand as if she wanted to touch the sky, Eleaine Grey suddenly disappeared, leaving her shocked daughter behind.

"W-What?" Jean pressed her lips together in confusion. "Tell me what to do then! Or… where should I go now? At least give me a hint or anything…"

A sentence began to echo in her head, making her hiss in pain. _Find out._

"_Find out_?" She murmured to herself and looked at the house in front of her. What's Elaine wanted from her? To open the door and meet her younger self and her dead brother? To see the life she will never get back? No, her mother loved her too much to punish her this way. At least that's what she kept on telling herself.

She swallowed uncertainly as she approached her old home. Hesitating, she touched the doorknob. The old wounds were still hurt, even though a lot of years passed since then, so she wasn't intend to cause herself more pain, but also wanted to know what was her mother talking about. There was something which told her to give in and go inside, see what happened there: which was supposed to be a key as her mother informed her.

"I'm gonna regret it… I'm so going to!"

Taking a deep breath, the redhead went through the front door. The woman looked around, smiling slightly at the little shoes in front of the fireplace, but immediately stopped as something caught her eyes. Clearing her throat, she looked at the framed picture of their family what was hanging on the wall. In the middle the four-years-old Sara stood, next to her sides the nine-years-old Jean and the eleven-years-old Andrew, while John and Elaine were behind them. Jean noticed her mother's forced smile and she wondered why she couldn't see how unhappy Mrs. Grey was back then. Did she really thought that she was fine when her husband behaved like an idiot, drunk bastard almost all the time?

Shaking her head to get the thought out of her mind, she began to rub her temple nervously as she climbed upstairs.

_Hearing how someone opened the windows first, then pulled the curtains apart, she couldn't hold back a loud, protesting groan. Being drunk by her sleep, the redhead unconsciously raised her right hand, shielding her eyes against the morning sunlight that had fallen into her room through the already opened windows and reached the bed she was lying on. Grabbing her pillow while letting out a few curses, Jean turned onto her belly and buried her head into it. Searching her teddy bear under the blanket, she let out a relieved sigh when she managed to find it. Pressing it against her chest with her free hand while the other one still held her pillow, she tried to ignore the voice of her brother that told her she should wake up. "Five. More. Minutes." Every word of hers sounded like a pleading to a higher being and at that moment, the girl felt like she'd give everything for a few more minutes of sleeping._

The older Jean stood there, watching the scene with her heart in his mouth: excitement and sadness attacked it at the same time as her brother turned around and looked at her directly. At first the redhead thought he noticed her, but then he just walked through her like in those old horror movies.

_"Jeannie," someone whispered and gently began to shake her until she let go off the objects she was holding for dear life, just to look up at her grinning brother and feel the urge to punch him._

Jean watched them curiously, couldn't move an inch.

_Giving the ceiling an angry look as she rolled her eyes, she sulked. "It's weekend!"_

_"You know I wouldn't have wake you otherwise darling, but mom sent me. You should go downstairs, the breakfast is ready."_

_"I'm not hungry." the redhead shrugged and slowly stood up, maybe a bit too fast, because she lost her balance and fell onto her back. Touching her forehead, she frowned. "Mhm… Let me sleep for… a few more minutes, okay?"_

_He helped her sitting up and settled himself next to her to put her blanket over them. She yawned, resting her head on his right shoulder. "You should eat something."_

The warmth in her chest gave her enough courage to sit down next to her brother on the bed. Seeing how her brother pulled her younger-me closer, her heart clenched painfully.

_"Is dad at home yet?" She asked instead of replying. He swallowed hard. Andrew intentionally avoided the subject, was aware of the fact that it hurt her too much to talk about their father's sudden outbursts. Even if he was beating them every night he could, the ten-years-old Jean Grey never gave up hoping that everything will be alright once and because of it her brother worried about her even more._

_Andrew sighed heavily. "No."_

_"Good, " she nodded, letting her brother embrace her, feeling completely comfortable between his arms. "I really don't want to start that fight again."_

_Kissing the top of her head, he stroked through her long red locks. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, but…"_

_Jean cut him off by raising her index finger._

_"He's become agressive these days… and when he's drunk it's only getting worse," she bit her lower lip to suppress a shudder. Hot tears welled in her eyes as their gazes met which made his heart clench painfully. He hated to see her crying, especially when he knew that he could have prevent her sorrow. Before he could say something, the redhead buried her face into a crook of her neck, her breathe tickled his skin. "I don't want you to get hurt because of me anyway. He'd be mad at you again and I can't get out of my head what happened last week…"_

_"I'm the older, Jeannie. I'm the one who have to protect you and not the opposite," he furrowed his brows. "Are your legs still hurt?"_

_She waved off, absently playing with the edge of his sweatshirt."It's not a big deal. Really."_

_"Stop playing the brave when you aren't!" The girl heard him warning her. "I've never asked you much, just to be honest to me, right? So are they still hurt?"_

_"Yeah," she blushed slightly. Knowing that he could tell that she was lying, she had to tell the truth. "This is way worse…" She pulled up her shirt and let him see the large purple spot near her flat tummy. "But don't worry! They will heal."_

_"The visible wounds will," he whispered barely audible and pointed at her injured legs, then as he went on, at her chest. "But you'll never forget the invisible ones and that's what bothers me."_

"I miss you," Jean touched his cheek but knew he couldn't feel anything: he watched his younger sister. "You have no idea how much I wish you were here, Andrew…"

_After a long minute of silence, she broke it by clearing her throat to get his attention back and to try to calm down. "I'm afraid of him, " she admitted, while fat teardrops rolled down on her cheeks. Noticing it, the boy immediately wiped them away and stroked over the soft skin under his palms. The redheaded girl turned her head and looked at the framed picture on the wall._

_"I don't think he wants to hurt us," Andrew said soothingly althought he believed quite the opposite. "He just doesn't know what he's doing when he's drunk…"_

_She smiled at him sadly. "Sometimes I think this nightmare will never end and the old times will never come back. Once we were a happy family, weren't we?"_

_"Listen to me now, darling," he cupped her cheeks and Jean heaved a deep breath in response, but didn't say anything. "I know how hard it is to you and that I'm not able to change it right now, but I swear to God that you and I, as soon as we are grown ups, will build a life together. And that our father changed will never separate us. We are a family: you, mom, Sara and me."_

_"You only saying this to make me feel better," she could only mumble, running her right hand through her hair._

_"No," he protested, kissing her wet cheek. "I always mean what I say, you should know that by now."_

_"Why doesn't mommy help us?" Jean demanded to know. "She doesn't say anything when he hurts us."_

_"I don't know," he replied barely audible. "But I know she loves us, Jeannie. Mothers love their children."_

_Thinking about it for a couple of seconds, she shrugged. "Maybe she's as scared as you and me."_

_She received a brief nod. "Yes."_

_"Is it true?" The redhead suddenly asked. Seeing Andrew's confused look, she went on. "That we will build a life together. Is it true?"_

_"Sure," he smirked. "We'll grow up together and become annoying old people."_

Jean had trouble to find her voice and when she managed to produce a sentense, she sobbed so heavily she was afraid she'll choke herself.

"I love you so much," she whimpered. "So much…"

_"Pinky promise?" Jean raised her pinky finger and Andrew did the same._

_"Pinky promise." Then, he patted her shoulders miserably and earned a small chuckle from her._

Then the picture changed. She wasn't there this time, only Andrew and their father, John. Jean touched her throat to be able to hear the conversation.

_"Son!" The older man barked, making him wince in fear. "Do you remember my friend? His name is Mr. Stryker."_

The redhead's eyes widened. Did they father just said Mr. Stryker? _That_ Mr. Stryker? "What the hell happened here?"

_He hit Andrew's head hard, who stood the pain which angered him even more. "I asked something!"_

_John earned a nod. "Y-Yes."_

_"Great," he smirked. "And also remember how interested he had been in you and your disease?"_

_Athough he had the urge to inform him that he had no disease, Andrew only narrowed his eyes and only mumbled a weak "Yes."._

_"Awesome," John gave the door a look before he grabbed his son's neck and pressed him against the wall. "Because you go with him tomorrow. Now that your sister left, you are the next one."_

_"Why?" The boy croaked._

_"Because you are all sick!" He hissed. "And my kids can't be such people like you!"_

_"I'm not sick!" Andrew protested loudly, earning a punch from his father, hitting his head hard. Holding her bleeding nose, his emerald eyes turned black for a few second before added, shouting. "You are the sick!"_

_"Either you go with him or I'll tell my friend about your sister's… little problem," he assured him and smiled darkly when he met the boy's green gaze again. "I give you the choice."_

"What are you doing? Don't!" Jean screamed, trying to shake her brother's shoulder to get his attention, but couldn't even make him move. That'd be impossible. "Andrew! Andrew! Please, don't!"

_"You know what I will choose, don't you?" He breathed heavily. "There's nothing to discuss."_

_Mr. Grey chuckled. "Right. So?"_

_"Hope you rot in Hell, old man."_

* * *

As the scene disappeared the redhead stood still, having million question without the answers. "Oh my God."

"Yes, I know," Jean heard Elaine's voice next to her. "Jean..."

"So you lied to me," she said and buried her face into her palms. "You… lied… to me."

"Jean..."

"Have you got any idea how much I had to suffer after you told me he died?" The younger woman shouted and her mother lowered her gaze onto the ground. "How many sleepless nights I had because I wasn't there for him? YOU LIED TO ME! He's alive!"

"Jean, let me ex-," Elaine tried but her daughter cut her off.

"NO!"

"Please…"

"NO!" She sobbed. "He exchanged himself for me. He…"

"I couldn't help him, Jean!" The older Grey cried, too. "He'd have killed Sara!"

Finally, the telepath looked up. "This is the excuse you are living in, mother? I will never blame you for saving Sara… You could have tell the police what happened or…"

"And? Let him hurt my children?" Jean heard the brunette say. "Yes, he had to suffer there, but is at least alive."

Jean bit her lower lip hard, wiping her tears away. Red brown eyes met her mother's green ones. "What happened to him?"

"After the water destroyed the basis, he and some other mutants managed to rescue," seeing her confused look, she went on. "Yes, at Alkali Lake."

Jean touched her forehead, barely understanding the things she had said. "How is it possible? I... was there, too and couldn't sense him."

"His mind is complex, sweetheart," Elaine replied. "Something he's blocking other mutant's powers. You weren't a class five back then, so it is possible that he did the same to yours, too."

"And he's…"

"He's fine, Jean." Heaving a deep sigh, she added. "But he's also a mess right now. I can't tell you what's on his mind."

"A mess?"

"Phoenix. After the water buried you, she asked him to help her. He thought he's only hallucinating. " Then thinking about something for a while, she added. "Until now."

Jean raised an eyebrow at her. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure, but I think… well, he had a nightmare with you. I have no idea how but he found out."

"He just… found out?"

"Yes," the brunette nodded. "I think his another personality could recognize you."

"_His_? He has one, too?"

"Stryker created him as far as I know." Mrs. Grey heaved a deep breath. "He doesn't know how strong he is," Elaine whispered. "I only hope his friend'll manage to stop him or…"

"Or?"

"Jean, I doubt he will let them explain what happened in San Fransisco," she murmured. "If he gets to know that you died… then it will destroy his good side."

"Which means that…"

"Nothing good, Jean. Nothing good."


End file.
